


Can You Castrate a Sex-Crazed Horndog Inside Your Own Brain?

by slotumn



Series: Wherever the Wind May Take Us [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Humor, Confusion, During Timeskip (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), F/M, Ficlet, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, Guilt, Horniness, Introspection, Light Angst, Masturbation, Possibly OOC, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Frustration, Stress, Stressed Claude von Riegan, Wet Dream, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22724182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slotumn/pseuds/slotumn
Summary: Asking for a friend.A.K.A. Claude wakes up from a wet dream feeling stressed and confused as hell.
Relationships: Lysithea von Ordelia/Claude von Riegan
Series: Wherever the Wind May Take Us [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593274
Kudos: 12





	Can You Castrate a Sex-Crazed Horndog Inside Your Own Brain?

Fódlan is almost three years deep into war, and the leader of the Leicester Alliance just woke up in the middle of the night, from a wet dream about a former classmate with a raging hard-on. 

What in the goddamn.

Having a sex drive is perfectly normal, blah blah, he knows all that-- and wouldn't feel guilty about this, either, if not for the fact that 1. people he knew in real life usually weren't the subject of those weird horny dreams, and 2. it was about Lysithea. 

Adorable, clever, hotheaded Lysithea, who tried so hard to act mature but probably didn't even fully grasp the implications behind other people seeing her "as a woman."

What kind of scumbag would make her the object of their sexual desires in earnest?

...Himself, apparently. 

He thinks he's gone insane from the stress when the guilt makes him come harder than usual.

As he collapses in the bed again, the sex-crazed horndog part of his brain that should have calmed down and mellowed out already says, she was already cute back then, I wonder how she looks now, she's probably gorgeous and--

"...Oh, forget it," he mutters. 

Maybe this was what happened when kids try to act like adults way too early, he thinks. The phases you think you skipped over pops back up at the worst time, in the worst way. 

But what else was he supposed to do?

People back home hated him, no matter what he did.

People here were getting close to it, and if by some chance they found out about his heritage, they'd definitely do the same.

If he can't help being hated on a personal level, may as well squeeze out all he can out of the situation on a political level, even if he has to force himself into positions too heavy for what he really is inside.

Wish a cute girl would come squeeze all she can out of my dick instead, thinks the sex-crazed horndog, and he actually slaps himself in the face to clear his mind. 

Yes, the stress-- from constantly calculating, suspecting, scheming, leading-- has definitely driven him insane. 

But tomorrow, he's going to get up, become the smooth-talking Alliance leader, and triangulate stupid bullshit between other lords again. 

Someone, preferably a girl with white hair and pink eyes and a cute pout, come suck my dick already, is (unfortunately) the last thought he has before passing out again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, have Claude being stressed.
> 
> Sometimes I feel like the Claude I write is kinda OOC because I keep putting him in these private moments where the side he hides away from other people keeps popping out, but god damn if it isn't fun to make Mr. Smooth Tactician wrestle with his own thoughts.


End file.
